So when I started this journey, I did so with friends. Two of my best friends, actually. SistaFattyCakes also started a blog to chronicle her journey. We’ve even got started doing youtube videos together. She is my ACE, y’all hear me?! My friend with whom I can be completely honest about any and everything. Like pouring inedible substances on food in the trash so that I can be sure I won’t eat it because the fact that it’s in the trash may not necessarily stop me. I can tell her stuff like that and she will neither judge me nor laugh at me. I loved her for this. Notice the past tense? Yeah. That love affair ended yesterday. Why? Because she laughed at me. Let me start at the beginning.

I’m on the phone with her while I’m at the playground with Reuben. I tell her about how I was trying different exercises the other day and how I wished all parks and playgrounds had little signs showing you how to do various exercises using stuff in the park/playground. She tells me that they actually have this on the walking trail that she uses. That’s great! (*in my Brooke Windham voice*) I then tell her that I really want to do this:

I couldn’t explain it well enough to her make her understand what I meant (which is why I posted the video instead of trying to explain it to you, too), but I tell her I’m scared to try it because I’m scared I will fall. She chuckled and said, “You HAVE to stay on the phone while you do it so if you fall I can laugh!” ARGH! WTF??? What happened to my FRIEND?! This chick wasn’t my fellow fat girlfriend, this was some other chick. And I didn’t like her. Hmph, with friends like that, who needs enemies?! So I was gonna show her that I could do this. After about 5 minutes she says, “So did you do it?” I have to tell her that I haven’t even started yet, I’m trying to mentally prepare. More laughter. It’s not funny! I have weak arms! Plus I was pondering things like why they still had actual wood chips on the ground when everyone knows they should be fake rubber wood chips so when fat girls try to do skinny girl shit they don’t hurt themselves and get splinters in their eyes. Duh. Then I thought, wait a minute, if I can climb a wall, I should be able to do this.

I start to swing my legs, but I can’t get the momentum (because I clearly lack the ab strength) to get my legs up there. As I’m trying, I say to her, “Wait, if I do get up here, how will I get back down?” Now she’s really laughing. Then it dawns on me that I’d have to swing myself back up the other way to grab back on with my hands. Just exactly WTF was I attempting??? It all seems so easy when you read about it or when you watch it on a video, but in my real life, the shit was daunting as hell. I get my legs up and in the split second it would have taken for me to let go with my hands, I got scared I would fall and took my legs down. I’m sure this disappointed SFC at missing out on her comic relief, and at first I felt super bad about it (not about her giggle-box self, about giving in to fear), but after seeing the beginning of this video, I’m glad I got my fat ass down from there. But this fear thing is recurring in my exercise efforts and at some point will have to be rectified.

You know what was the worst part about it all? About 10 minutes after my attempt this dude comes to the playground, goes to the monkey bars and does the EXACT same thing I’d been trying to do and made it look totally effortless. Asshole.

I’m going to get someone to take a video of me doing these playground exercises for the first time and then chronicle as I get better. I hope I have someone to take videos for me. Hell, I hope I get better! And I will! Because you know what? You know WHAT?! On Saturday I did 100 jumping jacks without stopping and I kept at a pace. It’s soooo much easier with music. I think the running is helping with my endurance, too.

Speaking of running, today is supposed to be my first day of training. I knew it would rain today, so I attempted to do my training yesterday. I stopped 5 minutes early because my bladder was on FULL. It was full when I started, but I didn’t want to go into the store to use the bathroom and then start running because it would have just taken up too much time and it was about to get dark. I still feel like I got in a good workout. If I get someone to keep my son, I’ll go out today and run even if it’s raining (as long as it’s not storming). I need to get used to it because it could very well rain on race day.

So that’s what’s been up with me. What’s been up with you? Did you register for the WW Walk-!t Challenge yet?

Of course SFC is still my ace, and I don’t really hate her (not anymore, I mean, that was like 18 hours ago). But I look forward to the day she has to do this so I can laugh at her, too! That’s what it’s all about, after all! Thank goodness we don’t take ourselves that seriously. There really are some funny parts to this weight loss journey. There really are.

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