I have never felt so fat and out of shape as I do right now, in this moment. Let me start at the beginning. I decide that I’m going to start doing Daily 100’s. *rolleyes* Always tryin’ some new shit. Yesterday was my first day; I did jump rope. I skipped the rope 100 times. No bounce in between, just straight jumps. Took me 2 minutes. Today I decide it’s going to be a 100-second plank. I thought (honestly) that it was going to be easy. I mean, I’ve done one for 30 seconds, what’s 70 more? Ppppbbbbfffffttttt! The planks I’ve done (on the Wii Balance board, with Wii Fit) have been on my forearms, not my hands in a full push-up position. Why I didn’t just do it the way I normally do, I have no idea. In full push-up position I lasted all of 40 seconds. So I figure, OK, let’s do 100 jumping jacks. This is when shit got real.

I start jumping, no problem. Then my pants start to slip down. I want to pull them up because I want to make sure my jumps are being counted on the pedometer. But my pants are determined to be underneath my fat roll, instead of covering it. I need the waistband of the pants to be on my waist. It’s not too much to ask. After I have pulled them up twice, I realize that I’ve passed 50 jacks! And that’s when I start to feel it, the fat trying to pull away from my body. Science was my worst subject, so I don’t know if it was gravity or inertia or what, but my stomach was in the air and I could feel my skin pulling right at the bottom of my rib cage. I get to 73 and stop jumping. Just exactly WTF is going on? I take my HR and it’s about 140, somewhere between 70-80% of my maximum heart rate. I start jumping again because I just want to finish. And when I get to 80 I realize what’s happening: my stomach needs a sports bra. It needs some type of support so that if I’m jumping around it sits still. I wonder why I didn’t feel it when I was jumping rope last night?

I get to 90 and decided to count down from 10 to 1. Here’s how that went:

Only 10 left!
9 more!
8 OMGoodness
7 you HAVE to finish
6 I don’t think I can finish this
YOU CAN DO 5 JUMPING JACKS
4 I’m too fat for this
3 amost done!
2 more
1 take your HR, my goodness gracious, don’t throw up your heart!

I actually clutched my chest to keep my heart in it. Old people clutch their chests. I’M 36!!! I’m embarrassed and ashamed. How did I get here? With fat flopping all around my mid-section? Thinking that 2 minutes of exercise (that’s all it was from start to finish, 2 minutes, TWO) could kill me. Really, Monique? Really? Two minutes? That means I have some new goals. We already know the long-term goal is to eliminate the fat from my waist (and every-damn-where else). I also want to be able to do 100 jumping jacks (and rope jumps) without stopping to rest for even a few seconds. I want to do 100 jumping jacks or rope skips in 100 seconds. I want to be able to hold a plank for 100 seconds.

Sadly, that two minutes wore me out. I currently only have 8,146 steps. I’m about to watch The Biggest Loser and I’m going to walk in place while I watch until I get to 10K steps. I didn’t do any real exercise today, just housework and got some walking in while running errands. I’ll try to do better tomorrow. Actually, I just looked at my pedometer and I’ve earned 4PP already today! Considering WW suggests you earn no more than 6PP per day, 4PP ain’t too shabby!! Not bad at all! I’m still walking while I watch TBL, though. 🙂

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